


Making Lemonade

by Dellessa, rosenewock21



Series: All Cracked Up [2]
Category: Transformers - All Media Types
Genre: M/M, Mech-preg, Sticky Sex
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2012-04-16
Updated: 2012-05-19
Packaged: 2017-11-03 18:05:12
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 2,279
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/384308
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Dellessa/pseuds/Dellessa, https://archiveofourown.org/users/rosenewock21/pseuds/rosenewock21
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"When life give you lemons...you pray Hot Rod hasn't been using them as interface toys."</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Highgrade and Havoc

Title:  Highgrade and Havoc  
Author: Dellessa and Chi_Shiro  
Verse: Multi-Continuity AU  
Series: Crack  
Rating: M  
Warnings:  Sticky. Slash. Use of Processor Altering Substances. And Waking up in Odd Places. :3  
Pairings/Characters:  Hot Rod/Optimus Prime. Megatron/Optimus/Starscream.   
Notes: Set in the same verse as  [ All Cracked Up ](../../../379976) . Between Denial and Duct-tape and And the Parents...  
Summary: Some bots should never drink highgrade.  
Words: 756  
Prompt:  4\. Inebriated. Let's have some tipsy fumbling ;)   
  
Hot Rod giggled, leaning heavily on Optimus as they stumbled down the hallway. Optimus himself was hardly the stable pillar he normally played. They stumbled, and finally nearly collapsed against Optimus’ door.  He fumbled with the keypad, his fingers continually hitting the wrong key.  He got it on the third try, and watched Roddi fall inside, laughing.  
  
A small part of Optimus’ processor wondered how wise it was to be doing this.  But the other part of his processor, the part that was reeling from all of the highgrade, insisted it was the best idea ever. Ratchet  **HAD** insisted he go to the party. He had also insisted that Optimus was too tightly wound and needed to relax. This was relaxing, wasn’t it?  He stumbled inside after Hot Rod, nearly falling over the prone mech.   
  
“Ooooptimus, help me up.” Hot Rod giggled as he attempted to stand, and promptly flopped back on the floor in a heap.    
  
Optimus chuckled, because laughter was contagious, and helped Hot Rod up. He kissed him, causing them to nearly fall over all over again. They stumbled across the room, practically falling on the berth. “Rrrrrrooodi.”  He crawled on top of Hot Rod, leaving sloppy kisses across his frame.  “We---we should do this more often.”    
  
Hot Rod wiggled underneath him, his interface panel already snicking open. Optimus looked down, and frowned, squinting his optics and thinking he was reading wrong. “Rodimus...do you have...right above...Hot Rod...a tattoo...what the... It says  Transfluid Dumpster.”    
  
Hot Rod whined. “Weeeeell, this one cycle at academy...”  
  
“I dun wanna know.” Optimus slurred, kissing him again.   
  
Optimus considered the last time he had gotten this overcharged. He had woken up to find himself sandwiched between Starscream and Megatron. It had been embarrassing at best, horrifying at worse. He had woken up, looked around, and wondered how in Primus’ name he had gotten there, why he was still there, and better still why his enemy was half-awake and feeling him up. Strike that, enemies. Both of them.   
  
_“What the frag?”  
  
Starscream had wiggled against him, his systems practically purring in the type of self satisfaction only seekers seemed to find in these situations. “Exactly. Exactly.”_ _  
  
“That isn’t what I---ugh---I think my processor is going to fritz.” Optimus groaned, and then groaned louder when he was pulled back down on the berth by Megatron. He whimpered softly as the silver mech hugged him tightly to his chest._ _  
  
"You invoked the ordinance of cross faction interaction 68."  Megatron rumbled, his chuckle reverberating against Optimus’ plating, and arousing him all over again._ _  
  
"Too hung over. Which one is 68 again?" Optimus said, squirming, and trying to get away from the claws flitting across his overly-warm frame._ _  
  
“The one I keep abusing.” Starscream piped up, leaning in and catching Optimus’ lips in a lingering kiss. The tri-colored mech pulled away with a smirk still on his lips. “The one pertaining to any cross faction one night stands that are the result of broken down negotiations that led to high-grade drinking contests....and in that situation the contestants can’t be taken prisoner.”_ _  
  
Optimus opened his mouth, “...” And shut it again, repeatedly, as if the words wouldn't come out. Starscream must have taken that as an invitation and leaned in to kiss him once more. Megatron’s chuckling was doing things to him he didn’t want to think about. Perhaps the ordinance covered the morning after as well?_ _  
  
“It’s so sad that we have such an ordinance.” Optimus finally said between kisses. “And worse you are abusing it.” He paused, then gave in. “Morning after covered too?”_ _  
  
“I am just facilitating peace.” Starscream harrumphed, trying not to smirk. “And yes, it is. You’re covered until you walk out of the facility, at which point you become an enemy combatant again.”_ _  
  
“Peace, right.” Megatron rumbled. “Is that what they call it now?”_ _  
_  
Optimus shook himself out of his revelry. It had been a good face. Well, what he could remember of it. He hoped this would be equally so. Hot Rod squirmed beneath him again, whimpering and arching into his touch. Optimus touched everything and then some, lingering over the tattoo. It made him chuckle inside. He hoped he would remember this. Hoped he remembered the way Hot Rod keened, and the noises he made when Optimus finally slid inside him. The way the smaller bot screamed in his overload.  
  
He sort of hoped they’d be able to do this again. Maybe while sober.  
  
Just in case, he recorded it all.


	2. Suitability

Title:  Suitability   
Author: Dellessa and Chi_shiro  
Verse: Multi-Continuity AU  
Series: Crack  
Rating: M  
Warnings: mech-preg. sparklings.   
Pairings/Characters:  Hot Rod/Optimus Prime  
Notes: Set in the same verse as  [ All Cracked Up ](../../379976) .  
Summary: Sometimes it just doesn’t matter!  
Words: 612  
Prompt:  3\. Scenario: lovers against adversity. Two (or more) characters who pursue a relationship despite the fact they're really not meant to.   
  
Optimus was in love. Really, **REALLY** , truly  in love. In a way he’d never felt about anybot before in his long existence, not even Elita. No one else seemed quite so happy about this fact, aside from Roddi. Hot Rod was rather...enthusiastic. Optimus liked that about him. It made up for other...things.  
  
"Are you sure you wanna deal with that?" Kup said, breaking Optimus out of his daydream.  
  
“What?” Optimus started down at the smaller mech, confusion written all over his face. Shouldn’t he be happy Optimus was interested in Hot Rod? Happy he was contemplating bonding before the sparklet came?  
  
“Roddi is a interface addict. We both know it. I wouldn't even say he was suitable bondmate material for a brothel owner...  You know he’s still messing around.” Kup let out a put upon ex-vent.  
  
“How can you even say that about your own creation?” Optimus said, sounding floored.  
  
“Don’t get me wrong, kiddo. I love Hot Rod.  He is my only creation, and he is otherwise a good kid. But when it comes to relationships he’s a hot mess.” Kup gave another put up, put upon sigh. “I think he spent more time studying those petro-rabbits than he did hunting them.”  
  
“Kup...”  
  
“Don’t ‘Kup’ me, lad. It’s the Primus-blasted truth, and I came to accept long ago that this is the way my grand-sparks would come into this world. Too much of his carrier in him. Don’t make the mistake we did, lad. Don’t mistake this new relationship rush, and the warmth you feel over that newspark growing inside of him, for love.”  
  
Optimus honestly didn’t know how to respond to that. “He...he told you?”  
  
“Ay, before he told you, lad. Just give it time. Think it through. If not for yourselves then for my grand-spark.”  
  


OoOoOo

  
Optimus glared at Megatron over the Com Call. “I don’t think that is any of your business.”   
  
Megatron glared back, “I thought we had an understanding.”   
  
“I never...” Optimus started, but Megatron cut him off before he could far.   
  
“You’ve ended up in berth with us every time I turned around. What else was I to think?” The former warlord looked pissed, and maybe a little hurt.   
  
Optimus tried another tactic, playing on the one thing he knew Megatron had always cared about. More than the war. More than his drunken frags. Always that one mech. “You have Starscream.”   
  
“Whose fragged up idea do you think it was to begin with?” Megatron sounded more than a little broken. “My favorite fool was built for trine bonds in everything he does. He wanted---no, he needed---at least a third.”   
  
“I---I am not going to have this conversation right now.”   
  
“No! You need to hear this. The idea might have been Starscream’s at first, but our affection for you, the affection shared by both of us, was genuine. Don’t you walk away from me Optimus Prime.  You---you lead me on...”    
  
“Oh, for---I did not. I am **NOT** having this conversation with you right now.”   
  


OoOoOo

  
“Do ya really think this is a good idea?”   
  
“Hide? Really? Not you too.”  
  
“He’s shareware. He’s been with just about every Bot and Con on earth, and then some. I just don’t think it’s appropriate for THE PRIME to be shackin’ up with him. You could have your choice of Bots. Unicron’s pit, you could have your choice of the Cons with the peace treaty.”  
  
Optimus huffed. “ **HIDE**. Please don’t speak ill of him.”   
  
“Don’t get me---”  
  
“Don’t get you wrong? Right, I know, I keep hearing that. Well, don't get me wrong. Let me have this. It is not as if I ask for much. Besides there is something else to consider.”  
  
“And what is that?”  
  
“He’s sparked.”


	3. Master Plan

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Starscream has a plan, and that plan...includes chains. :D

Title:  Master Plan   
Verse: All Cracked Up   
Series: Making Lemonade   
Rating: T   
Warnings:  "Warning: Starscream and all he entails"    
Pairings/Characters:  Megatron/Starscream   
Notes: Set in the same verse as [ All Cracked Up ](../../379976) .   
Summary: Starscream has a plan, and that plan...includes chains. :D   
Words: 158   
Prompt: Pinned down   
  
“You thrice glitched seeker, free me now.” Megatron howled, straining at the bonds that tied him to the berth.    
  
“I don’t think so. Not until you listen to me.” Starscream huffed. “You are going about this all wrong.” Starscream plopped onto Megatron’s chest and seemed to make himself comfortable with his perch.    
  
Megatron growled. “I---”   
  
“Be quiet. We are never going to get Prime in our berth if you...keep doing what you’re doing. The calls will stop. You will calm down. And you will stop behaving like---”   
  
“Like what?” Megatron growled.   
  
“Like that.” Starscream motioned at all of Megatron.   
  
“You just---are you---you glitch, you just motioned towards all of me.”   
  
“Mmmmm...right. Cut it out. I have a plan,” the seeker said in a smug tone.     
  
“Let me go.”   
  
Starscream purred. “Not yet.”   
  
Megatron glared.     
  
"Just leave this up to Roddi and I. We know what we're doing. But before that...well I have other plans.”


	4. All Part of the Plan

Title:  All Part of the Plan   
Verse: All Cracked Up   
Series: Making Lemonade   
Rating: T   
Warnings:  Mech-Preg. Sparklings. Drama. Dub-Con. Silliness and Crack. :D   
Pairings/Characters:  Megatron/Starscream   
Notes: Set in the same verse as [ All Cracked Up ](../../379976) .   
Summary: Some things can’t be unseen, unfortunately. Set immediately after A Deviation from the Norm.   
Words:  341   
Prompt: April Prompts: 20.You're my cheerful pain   
  
“So...what the frag does tieing me up have to do with me fragging you. It's not like I need tied up to want to do that.”   
  
Starscream grinned, and ground their chests together. “Mmmmm...” Starscream purred as his spark reached out, connecting with Megatron’s.    
  
Megatron arched up into him, and groaned as his spark pulsed and the overload hit him. His vents hitched and his fans roared in his chest. His optics offlined for a moment. He tried to gather his scattered wits, and finally a horrible thought crossed his processor. “Starscream...you did have your anti-sparking protocols up...didn’t you?”   
  
“No. Not at all. It’s all part of the plan.”     
  
“Getting sparked up was part of the plan? Frag it all, Starscream! Were you overcharged when you came up with this plan?”   
  
“No, mighty Megatron I was not. Roddi might have been, but he had some brilliant ideas, so it doesn’t matter.”     
  
Megatron would have facepalmed had he had a free arm. His second was glitched. Clearly. “How...”   
  
“Well, Roddi has a sparkling. And---Hey, it worked for Roddi. He can't get Optimus to  STOP talking about bonding.”   
  
“There is a distinct problem with this plan. You are not trying to bond with me, glitch.  WE are trying to get Optimus to bond with us.”   
  
“Roddi thought it was a good idea.”   
  
“There is your first problem.”   
  
Starscream frowned down at him. “Roddi has good ideas. It’s all a matter of perspective.”    
  
“Perspective, right.” Megatron grounded out, as he watched Starscream lower himself onto his spark again, “You are glitched.” Megatron screamed, arching up as the energy began to arch between them again.   
  
Finally, after what seemed like an eternity, Starscream collapsed beside him, curling up against the much larger mech. “Not glitched. Devious. We are going to let Optimus catch us---Roddi and I---in berth together, we will tell him I am sparked, and he will assume Roddi is a potential sire. Problem solved.”  He hmm’d and shut his chestplates.   
  
“Done already?”   
  
“I’m sure it took that time.”   
  



	5. Implications...

Title: Implications...   
Verse:  Making Lemonaide   
Series:  All Cracked Up   
Rating: M   
Warnings:  Mech-Preg   
Pairings/Characters:  Megatron/Starscream/Optimus/Hot Rod   
Notes:  It’s just crack...   
Summary:  Optimus/Hot Rod, Megatron, Starscream   
Words:  106   
Prompt: 9.Taken advantage of   
  
“You have taken advantage of my good will.” Megatron groused, pointing a finger at Prime through the comm unit.   
  
“Oh, not this again. You knew exactly what you were getting into. I made no promises. I certainly didn’t say I was going to bond with you.”   
  
“It was implied.” Starscream shrieked from the background.   
  
“This isn’t going to get us anywhere. You know I’m with Hot Rod.” Optimus said in exaggeration.   
  
“You aren’t the only one.” Starscream said, jumping into the conversation once more. “You know I’m sparked.”   
  
“Wait...what?”   
  
“And it’s Hot Rod’s.” Starscream smirked as Optimus had to pick his jaw off the floor. 


End file.
